The Skier’s Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt have no other sports before ski.

2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any snowboards, nor any other means of transportation, from the heavens above to the earth beneath.

3. Thou shalt have no friends, nor girlfriends, nor boyfriends, nor husbands, nor wives, nor fathers, mothers or siblings on powder days unless said individual can keep up.

4. Remember the winter time and keep it holy; in the summer thou shalt labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, the Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away thy time with backgammon, nor with cribbage, nor Nintendo, X-Box or Wii, nor tiddlelywinks, nor jig-saw puzzles, but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis. For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again.

5. Carry thine own skis and thy knapsack, that thy friends shall not avoid thee, and that thy days may be long on the ski trips that thou makest.

6. Thou shalt not dither.

7. Thou shalt not commit sitzmarks.

8. Thou shalt not swipe thy neighbor's ski wax.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness of thy downhill runs, nor thy jump turns, nor thy Telemarks.

10. Thous shalt not covet thy neighbor's climbing skins, nor thy neighbor's agility, nor his Stem-Christiana, nor his Closed-Christiana, nor his Open-Christiana, nor any Christiana which is thy neighbor's.

Comments

[Evan]

These commandments are somewhat dogmatic and difficult to objectively obey, I've broken a few too often. Means there's human merit in those words, and room for improvement.

Cheers to steep turns, fianlly spring is here! I-70 idiocy could use some work, command that!